THIS IS THE REASON I DON'T LIKE TO DRESS UP FOR HALLOWEEN

This picture was taken at last year at Simply Wicked. I was forced to dress up and am supposed to be Hugh Hefner. I assume I am standing next to someone in a Nixon mask or perhaps it's someone that just knocked off a Brinks truck.

At some point ya gotta stop dressing up. If you're a dude and your voice is changing or id you're a female and you are wearing a bra, then it's time to stop ringing doorbells for candy. Cut the lawn, mop the floor, develop some sort of work ethic or you will be lucky to wear a paper hat for a living.

Females like to use Halloween as an excuse to slut it up for one night. If you go out dressed as a naughty witch with your hoo-ha hanging out you're not fooling me. You're not in the spirit of Halloween...you're a self conscious hooker that enjoys your free pass one day out of the year.

Don't get me wrong...the best Halloween party of the year is our Simply Wicked Party at Bradleys. The entire morning show will be there but I will not succumb to Costume Peer Pressure. If they push me I'll hold a pipe wrench and make sure my butt crack shows like a glistening glacier. I'll say "I'm Joe the Plumber"---he seems to be pretty popular these days.

For details on the Simply Wicked Party, CLICK HERE