Four Thoughts for Week of 10-26-09

1)  If I was diagnosed as a "sex addict" why the hell would I want to go to rehab???


2)  I don't care if you are a Republican or a Democrat.  I do think you are a bit naive if you believe either of these parties have our best interests in mind.  Lobbyists run this country and until there is a viable third party it's never gonna change.


3)  If Julia Roberts worked at a jewelry store in the mall she would never be on the cover of Glamour Magazine.  "Pretty average Woman" if ya ask me.


4)  If I were a vampire I'd never have to worry about skin cancer but I'd need to work 400 years since the pay for overnights isn't as good as morning drive. 

FOUR THOUGHTS FOR WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 16th

1)  I stood behind a woman at the grocery store yesterday that was writing a check for her purchase.  I saw that she had a check card in her purse and I imagined the ceiling crashing down on her head.  That made me smile.


2)  If someone can say that Represenitive Joe Wilson yelling "you lie" towards the President is racist how come the same isn't being said about what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift?


3)  I remember having acne as a teenager and my mother telling me that it would be a phase I would grow out of.  For the past three days I have had a pimple behind my ear the size of a seedless grape.  Doesn't anyone tell the truth anymore?


4)  I would watch the nightly news more often if they threw a custard pie in the face of the weatherperson every time they were wrong on their daily forecast.

FOUR THOUGHTS FOR WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 7th 2009

1)  If the United States likes to send the military into unsecure areas that run rampant with crime and abuse how come the Special Forces have not yet infiltrated Detroit?


2)  Many people were upset this week with the President wishing to address children in our schools.   If kids are anything like the kids I knew in school they dozed off, didn't pay attention to one word, and he kept them from smoking cigarettes, trying to sneak off campus or having a sexual romp with a teacher.


3)  They say the economy stinks and unemployment is at an all time high--if that's the case where are people getting all this money for all these hi-tech wireless phones?


4)  I believe in hiring the best person for the job regardless of race or gender.  If you think affirmative action is a good idea--try applying that to the NBA.

FOUR THOUGHTS FOR FIRST WEEK OF SEPTEMBER

1)  Why don't the police do background checks on people standing in line at the DMV?  Everytime I have been there everyone in line seems to have committed some sort of time and I know the folks at Crimestoppers have a reward posted for more than a few.


2)  It should be a a given that we all chant "Douche! Douche! Douche!" at anyone who wears their sunglasses inside a building until he or she takes them off.


3)  I never can understand how people on food stamps are able to afford their gold teeth.


4)  You don't need to speak English to mow my lawn but since I pay you in American dollars I don't think its right that my ATM asks if I want directions in English or Spanish.

MINDLESS RAMBLINGS

People with baseball caps on sideways deserve to have them whacked off their head....not all babies are cute.....there's a chance they'll grow out of it but for the meantime you'll have to face the reality that you have an ugly kid.


Common courtesy and politeness are becoming a thing of the past---if you don't agree then you can go to hell.


I often wonder if homeless people have bank accounts and if they really would work for me in return for a pot roast and some steamed vegetables.


Stupid people should be able to have their kids adopted by smarter ones that really want a child.


I like the smell of gasoline and fresh cut grass but I would never want that to be made into a cologne.


If I take a ream of computer paper home from work I don't consider that stealing.


I just assume women that enter bar contests have herpes.


It's never a "gland problem"...face it...you're just fat.


If a gay guy doesn't know how to dress....does he lose his street cred?

POOR PAULA ABDUL

I see this morning that Paula Abdul is threatening to leave American Idol because her $5 million dollar salary is not enough. She must have the worst agent in the world because what Paula doesn't realise is that no one really gives a damn about her they care about the show....and the only person the show actually needs is Simon Cowell.

Shelly Long was a bigger star than Paula Abdul years ago when she left Cheers--the show survived and actually flourished.

What does Paula actually do? There are no scripts or lines to memorize. She's not performing any death defying stunts. All she has to do is offer her opinion and that itself is no easy task. The guy that fixed my garage door over the weekend expresses himself better and when we was asking "how was I gonna pay" I thought he was saying "It sure is a hot day." Imagine his confusion when I brought him a cold bottle of water and not a check.

These are tough times for everyone..American Idol doesn't need Paula Abdul...Paula Abdul needs American Idol.....and if ya break it down further...I don't need American Idol. I have a DVD player and a subscription to Netflix.

JUST SOME RANDOM STUFF ON MICHEAL JACKSON

It's been almost three weeks that Michael Jackson died seemingly of a drug overdose and just like in life this has turned into one big circus. Just some random thoughts:

**The people at his "tribute" weren't really his "friends." Most had limited contact with Michael or had not seen him in years--they were there for the publicity.

**Al Sharpton said "there ain't nothing wrong with your daddy."---If that's the case I wanna see what the hell goes on in his house for twenty four hours

**Interesting how his kids covered their faces all these years....they didn't seem to miss them at all.


**If you're gonna call Debbie Rowe greedy I challenge how many women wouldn't be a surrogate to Michael Jackson for $15 million bucks.


**Ironic how death can bring a dead career back to life. No one cared about Michael Jackson any more musically but as soon as he passed away you couldn't find his CD on the shelves.


**If Katherine Jackson cares about those kids...she'll change Blanket's name before he gets his ass kicked on the playground at recess.


This circus is JUST getting started!!!

My Thoughts on Jon and Kate

I never cared about these people. I am amazed how 10.6 million people cared on Monday night when they admitted they were separating.

My parents got a divorce when I was sixteen and they didn't get a TV show or $65K an episode and then claim they were "victims."

Where is the news here?? Ya both signed on for the project and have no problem cashing the checks.

Jon had hair so bad he looked like an ass with eyes before the hair plugs. Kate needed a firehose for her liposuction and then she got got a $400 Susie Orman lesbo-haircut. The kids are playing in $4K playhouses and we are supposed to feel sorry for them?

I hope Angelina and Madonna adopt all the kids and Jon and Kate live on the island of obscurity with Taylor Hicks!!

DO WE HAVE OUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT??

You can't tun on the TV without some mention of Rhianna and Chris Brown. Look at all the tabloids and the magazines at the check out counter and notice what they put on the cover: "John Mayer dumps Jennifer Anniston" "Angelina catches Brad massaging the Maid", "Lindsay and Sam are Fighting Again."


Obviously people that make the decision as to what goes on the cover do so with the intent to sell magazines. Having said that is their any wonder as to why this country is in the state of financial ruin that we are in? Perhaps if we paid attention to our finances as much as we wonder if Oprah will win her latest battle against weight gain we would have never been in this situation. I'm just saying.....

NOW LET'S SEE IF HE CAN DO IT

I didn't vote for Obama. I didn't vote for McCain. I did vote but I do not believe in our two-party system. We need more choices and we need to throw our support behind another option. I have thought for a long time now that our country is a mess and it isn't the fault of just one person. Politicians are greedy and they end up being on the take by lobbyists and many do not have our personal interests in mind.

Having said that I want Obama to prove me wrong. It's time to back up the hype. I'm not expecting miracles overnight but I am expecting something. If great public speakers make great world leaders than Joel Osteen should have been President a long time ago. I don't need a good speech to make me feel good. I want my country back.

I DON'T CARE IF HE'S BLACK DO YOU?

Granted today is a big day in American History. American has elected its first black President and the media is having a field day with this. I personally don't care if he is green, has five legs or likes to spend his spare time rubbing peanut butter on his pet ferret. Can he fix the economy?

People are losing their jobs, homes are being foreclosed upon at a record rate and my 401-K is leaking faster than a Pam Anderson breast implant.

I hate affirmative action. Hire the best person for the job regardless of the color of their skin. Yes Barack Obama is our first black President. That story is over as of 12:30PM today. The question now will be "Is he the right man for the job?" I hope so or all of us, regardless of color, are in a deep load of s**t.

WHY I THINK GOSSIP COLUMNISTS ARE VERMIN

When I was a kid they took us on a trip to the water pumping station. We went down a bunch of stairs and I'll never forget the stench. I saw waste water being pumped into this vat from all parts of the city. This was raw sewage. Human crap, cigarette butts, toilet tissue even a chewed up red rubber ball was right before my innocent eight year old eyes. It is in this location that I am confident that people who write gossip columns reside.

Think about it. They can make anything up and print it in the paper. Its not really a challenging job at all. They take pride in ruining people's lives and there is no consequence. Let me illustrate my point: RICHARD GERE-------if you are now thinking of a gerbil I have illustrated my point. The gerbil thing never happened........it was a prairie dog.

WHY DO WE WATCH AMERICAN IDOL?

First of all I have to be better in 2009 about blogging. Once I get off the air I really don't have much to say. I kind of shut down for the day and try and recharge my batteries.

So tonight we have the start of season seven for American Idol. There is no arguing with the success of this show but I think I have had enough. These contestants come in humble and the more success they attain the more egotistical they become.

Carrie Underwood seems to be the most appreciative winner while Clay Aiken (although not a winner) seems to have really over estimated his importance to the rest of mankind.

He came on idol looking like someone the high school bully would give wedgies to when he wasn't eating his bag lunch alone in the school cafeteria. Three months later he has a new hair style, a new look, is adored by middle age women across America who later are shocked when he announces he prefers the strong embrace of another man. Clay Aiken coming out of the closet even made the cover of People magazine.

American Idol is a monster..a publicity machine...and like zombies we are led to watch this over-the-top talent show. Feed the loser to a cage of hungry lions and maybe I'll tune back in.